Posted by: slow study | August 26, 2010

Summer can’t end soon enough

School starts soon.  Amy will be in ninth grade.  Anne will be in first grade.  And every parent knows what that means – two kids in school ALL DAY.  Yesssssssssssssss.

What am I going to do with my time? I’m going to Disney World!

(cue: giant snort)

I have no plans. I am serious when I say that after a summer with the girls, I can’t even put together a complete thought.

 The other morning Anne wanted breakfast, and I offered her Cheerios.

“Okay,” says Anne, “But I don’t want them hot.”

?????
Janet: Cheerios. Cheerios aren’t hot.
Anne, playing Nintendo: I’ll have Cheerios. But I don’t want them hot.
Janet: What are you talking about? Cheerios are never hot.
Anne, not looking up: I don’t like them hot.
Janet: CHEERIOS. The little o’s…
Anne, finally making eye contact with me: OH. I thought you meant CHEESE.
Janet: Not sure how you thought I would be serving you hot cheese.

Even after that strange exchange, I caught an ever-so-tiny glimpse of Anne maybe understanding something about real life.

She was in a huff over her Nintendogs game. It’s a video game where you take care of dogs.

Anne: I feed them. I wash them. I walk them. And then you know what? When I come back to play the game again, they are HUNGRY. AGAIN. And dirty. And need to be walked! And I spend all my money on them. It is SO ANNOYING.

Janet: Yes. Like with real dogs.

Anne makes an exasperated noise.

And then a mere 15 minutes later…

Anne, showing me the game screen: Do I have enough money to buy another dog?

The screen shows that she has $639.
Janet: Yes.
Anne: Yea! I’m going to buy a YOSHI TAYLOR (yorkshire terrier). Then I’ll have three dogs! And after that, I won’t have to spend any more money! I will only have to buy food and water and clothes…

I give up. The kid has no clue.

It isn’t like she’s never had contact with actual dogs.  Our surrounding neighbors have dogs and sometimes I walk them if someone goes on vacation or is at work.  Anne knows they eat, drink, poop and pee.  I’ve been looking after a little dog once a week, and Anne always insists on coming with me.  Yet she whines and complains the moment we start the walk.

Anne: Can we go back NOW? It is so HOT.

Janet: The dog is in a cage all day. At least let her get a decent walk.

Anne: WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE.

Sigh.

So so weary.

You know you’re tired when you dream about being tired.  In a recent dream, I saw a giant insect flying nearby and I kept trying to get up/call to someone, but I couldn’t muster the energy to do either.  I ended up rolling off the couch (still in my dream) to get away from the insect, only to run the dishwasher and have water flood everywhere.

There may be a deep psychological meaning behind all that, but I think I’m just overtired.

That happens when you stay up too late with the 14- yr-old (watching the BBC version of Jane Austen movies) and getting up too early with the 6-yr-old (who seems to think it is time to get up whenever she opens her eyes in the morning).

I’m also fueling myself with the food of champions: Diet Coke and anything that contains overprocessed, bleached white flour.  It is a delicious combination to be sure, but it always leaves me crashing.  A relatively new addition to my regular intake is the McDonald’s caramel frappe.  This sugary frozen coffee drink totally ROCKS and a size medium is 550 calories a pop (although I am always careful to get the “diet” version – ha! by asking for mine without whipped cream or caramel syrup on top).  It amuses me when I say No Whipped Topping into the drive-thru speaker, and then a voice responds, “Do you want the drizzle?”

Do I want the drizzle. AHAHAHAHAHAHA. 

Oh, this summer has totally turned me into an idiot.

(From the back seat: I WANT CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES. I WANT A SMOOTHIE. I’LL ROLL THE WINDOW DOWN AND TELL THE GIRL TO HAND ME THE SMOOTHIE THROUGH MY WINDOW.)

Like that’s a good idea. I can already see the smoothie sliding through greased hands and hitting the pavement.

It’s enough that I have to deal with I DIDN’T WANT STRAWBERRY BANANA. I SAID WILD BERRY.

Janet, to the girl at the drive-thru window: Bartender, make mine a double.

And hit me with the drizzle.

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Responses

  1. Okay, I laughed out loud at the “Hot Cheerios and Cheese” conversation. And I think I’m going to name my next stuffed animal “Yoshi Taylor”.

    I got a lot out of this one, thanks!


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