Posted by: slow study | September 10, 2010

Dinner theater: Coney Island

Friday night.

Out to eat at the local coney island.
 
Anne, looking at the dessert menu:  I’M GETTING THE BROWNIE SUNDAE.
 
Janet:  I’m not buying dessert here.  We have ice cream at home.
 
Anne:  I’ll have chicken nuggets and fries.
 
Anne chattered away, her conversation periodically (make that repeatedly) peppered with my interjection of: stop kicking me.
 
Thing is, Anne can’t talk without her whole body being involved, so my saying anything was of no use.
 
Sigh.
 
Janet, to Anne:  Eat your chicken.
 
Anne, waving her arms around:  GUESS WHAT I AM?
 
Janet:  Something that kicks a lot and doesn’t eat.
 
Anne, in one of many abrupt subject changes:  We are in a play. 
 
She then began assigning roles.
 
Anne to Amy:  You are a violin.
 
Anne to Shawn:  You are a jackal.
 
Anne to Janet, laughing hysterically at her own cleverness:  You are a fry.
 
Janet:   Stop kicking me.
            Stop kicking me. 
            Stop kicking me.
            Stop kicking me.
            Stop kicking me.
            Stop kicking me.
            Stop kicking me.
            Stop kicking me.
            Stop kicking me.
            Stop kicking me.
 
Anne:  I’m not eating this chicken.  I only want the fries.
 
The grand finale was Anne turning around in the booth, on her knees, rear end facing the table. 
 
Anne, to Shawn who was seated next to her:  My name is Butt.
 
Anne:  Ask the Butt a question.
 
Anne:  If the Butt does this (bumps against Shawn’s side), that means ‘yes.’
 
Anne:  If the Butt does this (pulls away from Shawn’s side), that means ‘no.’
 
I put my head in my hands.
 
Anne, suddenly noticing Amy’s absence from the table:  Where’s Amy?
 
Janet:  She went to the bathroom.
 
Anne, assigning new roles:  Amy’s name is Pee.
 
Anne:  And Mom is Poo.
 
Janet, getting up:  Time to leave.
 
Anne:  I want to get cookies at McDonald’s.
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Responses

  1. Miss Butt would have quite the red face when she got home. ; )


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